Marking the New Year with Compassion
Photo by Quinn Corte, December 2022.
Listen to the audio version here:
Farewell, 2022.
Yesterday I wrote a thank you letter to the year, which gave me many precious gifts (an amazing fiancé, a cozy home, unforgettable adventures) and many lessons (rest is resistance, I don’t have to prove myself, my bad moods are sacred). It was a roller coaster year.
I strongly believe in the importance of honoring endings before jumping into a new beginning. (In fact, I made a video and a meditation about this process a few years ago.)
The first step in honoring an ending is to pause. To reflect on what was lost, what was found, and what needs to be released, integrated, grieved, or celebrated.
The new year offers a built-in pause. Take it.
Life is a whirlwind—and we’re all on autopilot. This is a collective time to break the routine and ask yourself what worked this year and what didn’t. To course-correct.
Give yourself time to honor your year, your growth, and your sweet self.
When you do, I invite you to reflect on big external changes and events, as well as internal shifts that might be imperceptible to others.
Remembering major events reminds the inner critic that it was a really big year and a lot happened. Acknowledging them gives us context and permission. For example, this exercise helped me remember that I was adjusting to a new home and new job this year. I felt more compassionate realizing that most of my energy this year was focused on acclimating to those huge changes.
In parallel, it’s critical to honor our inner progress. It often goes unnoticed--the daily, tedious, internal work of healing our relationship with ourselves. The new year offers an opportunity to notice the subtle shifts of our inner landscape. It provides a chance to say, "hey, I've gotten a little better at this," or "I feel a bit lighter than I did a year ago."
Here are my examples. This year when I heard my inner critic, I actively spoke to myself with encouragement and compassion (“I'm doing great”). At work, I constantly checked in with myself to conserve energy (“am I going above and beyond on something trivial?”). When I felt tired or migrainey, I tried to rest without making it mean something about weakness or inadequacy (“rest is my divine right”). I’m still not perfect at these things, but I'm celebrating my progress this year.
Reflections are wonderful because they show us where we've gone, while also shining a light on what we’re moving toward. Identifying our needs is a constant negotiation.
This year has shown me that while I love the flexibility of self-employment, I can’t continue to live and work in isolation—an essential part of me is withering away. It also showed me that I need more support with my physical health. As I move into 2022, I’m seeking support and community. What are you seeking?
I hope when you reflect on this year, it brings you more self-compassion and pride in your journey. There is no destination, no right way to do this, and no one is keeping score. We’re all doing our best to navigate this insane world and enjoy the ride, together. That's something to celebrate.
Here are a few reflection questions for the new year. I invite you to journal about one question each morning for the next few days.
What are 10 things that made 2022 a big year for you?
What are a few snapshots you want to put in your 2022 time capsule?
What were you adjusting to in 2022?
What worked well in 2022? What didn’t work well?
What did you get better at in 2022?
What has changed about you that others might not notice?
In what areas of life are you feeling regret, grief, or struggle?
In what areas of life do you need more support?
In what areas of life do you feel warm, abundant, or content?
What are you proud of as you go into a new year? How can you celebrate it today?
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