Work Is Killing Me. Should I Stick It Out or Leave?
Workers dreaming of open skies. Photo by Quinn Corte, January 2024.
Work Is Killing Me. Should I Stick It Out or Leave?
I’ve left jobs, stayed in jobs, loved jobs, hated jobs, asked for jobs, asked for promotions, asked for fewer hours, and even gone back to old jobs. I could write a book about this question.
Here’s my short answer:
If you’ve tried everything, still aren’t fulfilled or well, and have other options—it might be time to go.
Here are some key things to contemplate as you make this decision:
Wishful thinking
So often, I see people (like me) cling to the hope that things will get better. “It could be so good, though!” we tell ourselves. “It might get better!” Or maybe we’ve been working in a place for awhile and it used to be good. But if you’ve been hanging on, waiting for things to change as you get more sick and resentful, it might be time for a change.
Feeling trapped
Another big reason I see people (like me) staying in jobs beyond their expiration date is that they feel trapped. If you do specialized work with an important mission in a very particular environment with cool people (*cough* museums *cough*), it can feel crazy to consider leaving. And maybe the benefits do outweigh the challenges. But if they don’t, know you have other options. You do have transferrable skills. I promise. Will it be straightforward to make a change? Maybe, maybe not. But, there is life beyond your current employer. You may feel trapped, but you usually aren’t.
Giving up
I also invite you to sit with the question: What have you tried that could make this job better? What’s the root of your dissatisfaction and what options do you have to shift that? I understand if you want to complain all the time or give up—you’re worn out. But if you’re itching to make your situation better, brainstorm two lists: one of external changes you could make (things you can advocate for) and one for internal changes (ways you can change how you show up). Before you quit, experiment.
Honoring timing
Above all, trust your timing. It makes sense to put up with a crappy (or “meh”) job if your joy lies elsewhere or you don’t have the energy to make a change. Maybe you’re focused on raising young children, so you’re phoning it in at work right now. Or maybe you’re out playing with your band at night, and your day job is your paycheck, not your purpose. But if/when something shifts, you’ll feel that restlessness rising up. When it’s time to make a move, you’ll notice a tug to want to stretch yourself, shake things up, or burn it all down.
Lastly, I leave you with a reflection question:
What would have to be true for you to stay in this job and be fulfilled and well?