How to Cope Through Rough Times
Photo by Quinn Corte, 2022.
Listen to the audio version below:
You’re not alone if you’re feeling run-down, disoriented, or unwell. Things are not OK. I hope this newsletter validates your feelings and confirms some of the deeper shifts you’re experiencing.
But at the same time, I want to acknowledge that the struggle is real. Day-to-day coping can be a huge challenge when you’re having a hard time. Below I share some practical things to try when you're in a tough place.
Run through the basic checklist.
Yours will be different, but here’s mine. Do I need to shower, leave the house, go to sleep, eat something, take medication, or call a friend?
Don’t let yourself drown.
Reach out to your therapist, friends, family, and other systems of support when the feelings get too intense.
Go outside all the damn time.
If the woods, beach, or porch are calling to you more than usual, there’s a reason. Go there now, go there often.
See your people.
Sharing 3D space with others has been the #1 thing that helps me most right now. Most of us are experiencing people-deficit.
Ground yourself in the moment.
Staying present is so critical right now. Here are my 8 favorite ways to get present.
Get into your body.
Move out of your head and into your body—let it dance, walk, swim, orgasm, sweat, snuggle, bathe, run, and feel touch.
Let the housework go.
I'm reading the most liberating little book about mental health and home care--check it out here.
Write about it and talk about it.
Tell the true story of your feelings. Journaling and swapping stories have been my lifelines.
Distract yourself.
It's 100% OK to not feel everything all the time. Shift your focus to soothe your system.
Try a non-cheesy gratitude practice.
I share a few favorites here.
Ask for really specific support.
“Come with me to the grocery store,” “Sit with me while I go through my inbox,” “Watch my baby so I can shower.”
Create a not-do list.
Instead of a to-do list, write all the things you don’t need to prioritize right now. Allow them to float off your plate so you can focus on what matters.
Make things with your hands.
Do something easeful and creative that fully engages your brain and your hands, taking you out of your thought spiral.
Let yourself cry and rest.
Give in to the naps and the tears—they are deeply needed and not a sign of weakness.
Stop doom scrolling.
I promise it’s making things worse.
Enjoy your life.
Sometimes you need to kick obligation to the curb and eat your favorite foods, listen to the best music, and go on adventures. Permission granted.
This is a teeny-tiny preview of some of the techniques I write about in my upcoming book, Soulful Stress Relief. More support is coming your way!
P.S. If you feel like you can’t get through this hard time on your own, please reach out for help. In America, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline to chat with someone at 800-273-8255. Here are phone numbers for other countries. If you'd like to find a therapist to work with, here is a great US resource to start your search.
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