The Freedom of Embracing Limitations
Lake Willoughby, VT. Photo by Quinn Corte.
Listen to the audio version below:
Last month I wrote about shedding hope. The month before, I wrote about the importance of bad moods.
This month, I want to talk about the freedom that comes with acceptance.
I’m a dreamer and a fighter. “Anything is possible,” I've always said. But as I recover from the storm of the last few years, I’ve changed. I’m getting my bearings, assessing the damage, and itemizing where things stand. Things are not OK, but they are much clearer.
I no longer believe anything is possible. Instead, I'm noticing where my expectations don’t align with reality. I’m starting to honor the limits of my own capacity, control, and mortality. As my blind optimism fades and I surrender to what is actually true, I've stumbled into a strange sense of peace.
Here are some limitations I’m learning to accept:
I will always need money to survive, which means I will always need to work.
I—and everyone I love—will die, and could die at any time.
I live on a gorgeous, ailing planet that won’t heal in my lifetime.
Our democracy and all our systems are beyond broken, and I’m too small to fix them.
Every day the news will make my stomach turn.
I have no control over whether my migraines get better.
Due to limited capacity and time, I will never fulfill all my dreams and curiosities.
Somehow, admitting all those realities feels like a gigantic load off my back.
I let myself feel the grief and anger of these hard truths. But I’m trying not to wage an inner war against the things I can’t change. Raging against limits is draining all my energy. Wishing things were different keeps me trapped in an impossible future.
But accepting that life is hard, unfair, and finite defines a space in which I can live with fuller presence and meaning. I want to experience unbridled joy right here, in the actual life I’m living.
In starting to embrace my limitations, I’m feeling FREE.
I can’t make all my dreams come true, so it’s OK to relax.
I don’t have all the time in the world, so I should enjoy this moment.
Everything isn’t possible, so I’m not constantly failing.
My expectations don’t align with reality, so I can let go of expectations.
If most things are beyond my control, I don't have to be so uptight with my plans.
Because our time is limited, I can give loved ones my full presence. I can drink them in, ask them deep questions, lift them up, and express my love here and now.
Since my capacity is limited, where I shine my light and devote my time becomes sacred.
I cherish the part of me that’s a hungry dreamer. But I’m also making space for another part of me—the one who notices the quality of the breeze and goes for spontaneous swims.
I want to run wild within the bounds of this sprawling field of life. Soak up the pleasure of good company while it lasts. Commit to the moment. Dive into my passions. Explore with a light touch. Greet every morning with curiosity. Feel into what matters most, and focus on that. Fit in as much sex, laughing, sandcastles, tacos, action movies, friends, campfires, and moments of wonder as I possibly can.
These are the gifts of embracing limitations.
Your turn:
What limitations are you resisting? What do you pretend to have control over?
If you embraced those limitations, how would you use your reclaimed energy?
If everything beyond your limits faded into darkness, what would be illuminated? What is the sacred focus of your life right now?
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