How to Rest an Overactive Mind
Vacationing at Balos Lagoon, Greece, 2023.
Listen to the audio version below:
How to Rest an Overactive Mind
My brain works too hard.
So every morning, I give it room to breathe. I take time to stare into space. Let my thoughts meander. Sometimes I write them down in a journal—stream of consciousness—to unspool them. But usually I just sit and look out at the sky or my breakfast for as long as possible.
I used to spend this time scrolling on my phone, but I now feel a strong aversion to having “input” during my morning zombie routine. All day I’m getting so much input—other people’s opinions, needs, expectations—coming from texts, emails, meetings, news, social media, in-person interactions. I like to start the morning with just me.
I also weave these blank spaces into my day. Whenever I feel oversaturated, I take a break from the input. I drive in silence or walk the neighborhood without my phone. If I don’t do this, my brain overheats. My thoughts need time to cool down.
Sometimes when I'm letting my mind wander, I realize my brain needed extra space to process something specific. I’ll think I’m over it, but it comes back to the surface in the quiet. Maybe my brain wanted to work out why someone made me angry or name what I’m longing for. When I don’t have enough blank space, my feelings tend to get stuck instead of moving through.
During busy times, I rely on these breaks to keep me tethered to myself. The beauty is that all I have to do is…nothing. There’s no meditating or breathing a certain way. I just let myself be for a few minutes, and my nervous energy usually dissipates. My body knows what to do.
Staring into space is a break from input, stimulation, and performance. But sometimes it takes a turn for the worst. My mind needs space to wander, but not too much space.
If there’s too much time and space for my mind to wander, my thoughts get thorny. They might start poking into the past (did I do something wrong?) or prodding at the future (what if things go wrong?). When my brain isn’t given a specific task, it sometimes turns inward. I know this is happening when I feel like I’m in the spin cycle—rehashing decisions, reliving old fears, doubting my worth. An idle brain can be as dangerous as an idle toddler.
I recently heard someone on a podcast say that the three pillars of existence are thinking, feeling, and doing. She suggested that people who get bogged down in thinking and feeling (self-help writers, perhaps?) can use doing as an antidote. And people who get caught up in thinking and doing (efficient high-achievers, perhaps?) may need to lean into feeling more. This rang true for me.
My being needs space to catch up with the bustle of life and let my thoughts meander. But my being also needs to do. Sometimes when I’m stuck in worry, loneliness, or wondering if I need to rethink my entire life, I actually just need to go play pickle ball. Instead of analyzing my feelings again, I need to bake banana bread or clean off my desk. I don’t have to do anything impressive; just something that focuses my mind and helps me remember that I have a body.
In her book Needy, Mara Glatzel refers to passive rest and active rest. Passive rest might be drinking lemonade on the porch or taking an armchair nap. Active rest may expend energy, but it leaves you more restored than when you started. It’s doing something that gives you life.
Letting my mind wander and doing a simple non-stressful task are two ways I take care of my overactive brain. Both allow my nervous system to settle, naturally downshifting my breathing and reducing my stress hormones. And both help my intuition and creativity rise to the surface.
How do I know whether I need to be or do or feel? It's a constant negotiation. In general, if I've been doingdoingdoing, I need some time to just be. And when I've been thinkingthinkingthinking, I might need to do something. And when something feels off inside, I'm likely ignoring a feeling that needs to be witnessed.
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One of the best parts about my magnificent trip to Greece was the lack of time to think. We played so hard, and when we weren’t playing, we relaxed so hard. It was a whirlwind of doing and feeling—of delighting the senses and living to the fullest. I had no space or desire to self-reflect or worry. I was deliciously, daringly in the moment. I was experiencing an epic adventure, but my brain had a full-on vacation. Its services were minimally required for logistics, and my body and heart led the show.
Now that I’m home, I’m experimenting with ways to retain the glow of that trip. How would my daily life change if I did less thinking? Would life feel more like an adventure if I used my brain less? What if I only relied on my brain when I actually had a problem to solve?
This is my last week off before I start work again. I'm practicing feeling and doing my way through each day. I’m visiting swimming holes, reading dorky fantasy novels, and making peach cobbler and cheesy pasta. I’m giving my brain a complete break from its usual overthinking, because honestly—there’s nothing I need to figure out right now. Nothing to prove.
In one week, I start a big, new full-time job. My intention is to take on this role with a light touch; to prioritize my wellbeing and not let myself be consumed by the job.
My brain will hopefully feel refreshed after a few weeks off, and likely eager to do more thinking. The main tool I plan to use as I adjust to a faster pace and more brain power? Blank space. I’ll give my mind chunks of time everyday to wander and unspool, as my body comes back to equilibrium.
The mind is an amazing tool—it needs stimulation, but it also needs rest. Brains want vacations, too.
Your turn:
In the triangle of thinking, feeling, and doing, which two do you spend the most time with and which one do you avoid?
Does your mind feel overused and need a break, or does it feel underused and need something to do?
What comes up when you imagine staring into space for five minutes today?
Go Deeper
How to Stop Ruminating (NYT article - gift link)
“One of the most effective things you can do when your thoughts are spiraling out of control is to distract yourself.”
Blank Space in my Life and Business (30-min podcast)
Business coach Amy Kuretsky on the necessity of weaving in unscheduled space for her creativity and wellbeing.
Creativity can't be forced. Take breaks, zone out to find new inspiration (20-min podcast)
“Your brain, quite literally, needs time to relax and wander to reignite that creative spark.”
The 7 types of rest that every person needs (short article)
I find it so helpful to think about why I'm exhausted--am I overstimulated, physically worn out, or emotionally drained?
Releasing Worry Through Yoga with Gail Picillo (75-min video)
A recording of one of our wonderful events, where Gail led us through yoga to release overactive brain energy.