Navigating the Weight of Global Heartbreak
Photo by Quinn Corte, 2021.
Listen to an audio reading of this post (5 minutes):
New here? This is part of a series for white allies called Anti-Racism & Collective Care. Learn more about this series here.
As I write this, I’m riding a fresh wave of heartbreak about the state of humanity and the earth. I have moments of despair, anger, distraction, joy, soothing, overwhelm, and hope. I also experience spurts of action.
This post explores how to navigate self-care and activism when you feel the weight of the world.
I want to help you answer two questions:
When should you lean into your anger and heartbreak, and when should you let up?
How can you transform your anger and heartbreak into focused action?
The answers will be different for each of you, in each moment.
Leaning In and Letting Up
One of the hardest parts of being human is learning how to embrace uncomfortable emotions without numbing out or falling too far down the well. Self-help mostly focuses on navigating our personal-life emotions. But what about navigating our emotions for humanity and the earth?
Soulful self-care is about feeling our interconnectedness as we tend to ourselves.
Part of the job description for human beings in 2021 is to stay awake and engaged as active citizens in our ailing world. It’s our job to care for one another. It’s our job to know what’s going on in the world. It’s our job to get the facts and listen to the voices of those who aren’t in our bubble. And it’s our job to stay regulated, tend to our needs, and live joyful lives.
Leaning into the world’s suffering allows us to be fully human. When we let our hearts break, we become connected and invested. Emotions ignite our values and spark an uprising of change.
We do—however—sometimes get swept away in the pain. In those times, it’s important to let up before we lose ourselves. When we don’t put on our own oxygen masks, our souls and bodies suffer and we can’t be effective change-makers. When we notice that we’re slipping too far away, we can use the tools in our self-care toolkit: stepping away from our phones, redirecting our attention, soothing our nervous system, connecting to the earth and a loved one, or filling our cups by doing something we love.
This is a delicate dance of trial-and-error that will be completely individual to you. Here are a few things to consider.
Signs that your global heartbreak is getting too heavy:
You’re feeling disconnected and less alive
Your body feels neglected
You feel like you are “sitting in it”
You’re doom-scrolling on your phone
You feel guilty for living your life or experiencing joy
You feel hopeless, or can’t do anything except worry
Signs that your global heartbreak is healthy:
You’re feeling more alive and connected
Your body is thrumming with energy, even if it’s uncomfortable
You’re able to regulate your breathing
You’re grounded in the present moment and your surroundings
Your body feels solid, even as your heart breaks
You want to do something
Transforming Heartbreak Into Action
Here’s an exercise to channel your grief-rage-distress into action. This 8-minute guided audio inquiry will help you identify action steps that fill a certain need and align with your unique capacity and gifts.
The work of longtime activist Mariame Kaba influenced and inspired this exercise and my personal activism.
What is your personal barometer for heartbreak? What will you do with your pain? I’d love to hear from you.
P.S. I always return to this lovely visual depiction of how to sit with discomfort by Amber Rae.