I've Got Your Back
Photo by Quinn Corte, 2020.
This is an excerpt from our November 2021 email care package, a delightfully free monthly email written by Quinn Corte. Click here to subscribe, or click here to donate.
Listen to the audio version of the care package below:
Recently I did something bold. Something my younger self would never have done. But in that moment, at almost 38, it felt totally natural. I paused, briefly seeing the trajectory of my life and appreciating how much I've changed.
There are some labels that I carried around for a long time, including "fragile," "quiet," and "nice." They make me laugh now. I'm strong as hell, make a lot of noise, and though I'm still a warm-hearted person, I'm fire-fierce when I need to be.
The ability to be resilient and raise hell is something I worked hard to learn. I used to be soft and pliable on the outside and a pressure cooker on the inside. Now, I know how to be firmer on the outside and softer inside.
In a nutshell, I've got my own back.
Here's what it looks like:
I put my health and wellbeing before pleasing others.
When people violate or disrespect me, I don't let it slide.
I don't betray myself just to make others comfortable.
I choose delight, just for the hell of it.
I speak to myself in a way that helps me feel encouraged, loved, and safe.
I'm not as worried about toning things down or fitting in.
When something's not working for me, I consider how to change it rather than just keeping the peace.
When something is working for me, I prioritize it.
I trust myself to make my own decisions--no matter what advice I've been given.
Or at least, that's what I do most of the time. It's a work in progress.
I've noticed that the more I have my own back, the more it encourages those around me to have their own backs. When our boundaries are in place, relationships become more authentic and open. We cultivate a stronger sense of interconnectedness and trust in one another.
Like a rising tide lifts all boats, advocating for ourselves naturally helps others.
When you take an afternoon off, it reminds others that they can too.
When you ask for more money, it raises the bar for others to earn more.
When you say "no," it gives others permission to protect their time.
When you fight tough systemic battles, you're looking out for those who follow in your footsteps.
When you choose your version of joy, you make the world brighter for everyone in it.
When you speak up, you break the spell.
When you do brave things, you pave the way for more courage.
Remember, the world doesn't want us to stand up for our needs. It wants to keep us small and performative. Self-advocacy is something we have to claim for ourselves.
Where in your life do you feel pliable or unsupported?
What would you take on if you had your own back? If others had your back?
What does it look like to have your own back this month?
If you need a little extra courage to be there for yourself--to be strong, loud, or fierce--I've got your back.
Supporting My Book
In case you missed my big announcement, I'm writing a book!
It's a practical guide to help stressed-out humans stop pushing and start living. It will teach you:
How the body responds to stress and why it matters
How to notice what stress and calm feel like in your body
How to discharge stuck stress and soothe frazzled nerves
What stress relief techniques work best for you in different situations
Why regulating your stress will change the world
Click here to listen to a 12-minute peek of the introduction.
If you love what you hear and would like to help make my book a reality, I'd really appreciate your donation of any size. If you can donate $50 or more, you'll receive:
A copy of the book as soon as it comes out
Bonus guided audio practices for mind-body relief
A hand-painted bookmark by my mom, artist Suze Corte (!)
Thank you for all of your supportive responses and contributions--I truly feel like you have my back.
The Browsing Nook
What type of work fulfills you and what drains you? My friends and I can't stop thinking about our results from this online quiz.
When we do work that we love, are we more susceptible to burnout? I can talk about this topic all day, so I loved the article, "Is That All There Is?"
I'm looking forward to reading How To Give, a free 17-page wealth redistribution workbook by Nicole Antoinette to help align your money with your values.
Need to let out some screams but don't want to freak out the neighbors? I want to try this.
Dads on duty are boosting morale at a high school fraught with violence.
Need a witchy November novel? I'm devouring this one.
xoxo,
Quinn
P.S. Eye candy for tree huggers.